They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
