You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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