So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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