D3 body, D1 cock
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
