After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize