apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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