I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
