But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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