I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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