i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
