Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just found a bag of teeth...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
