bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
