How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
