there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
