I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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