"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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