dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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