i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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