He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize