I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
