I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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