it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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