I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
