I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
