Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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