wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
