yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
