the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My underwear smells like fireworks.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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