Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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