she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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