of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
