Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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