D3 body, D1 cock
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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