So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
