Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
