I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize