I have demons in me.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
