she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
