I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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