whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
