You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
