Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
soo... how was my night?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
