dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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