we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We named our party play list daddy issues
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
