One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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