I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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