Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
