Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
