I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
