I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
