i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
