He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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