so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
