you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
being pregnant is like rehab
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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