I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
