just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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