i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
