If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
