Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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