It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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