We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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