I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
