I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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