READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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