D3 body, D1 cock
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
