the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize