I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
